Bereavement counselor Theres Kirisits on her tasks and what makes a good bereavement counselor

Grief is an exceptional state for both our body and mind—many people reach their own limits in the process. The good news: There are ways to seek professional help, such as through a grief counselor.

But what exactly does a grief counselor do? We explain the role of a grief counselor and discuss its importance. To do so, we spoke with grief counselor Theres Kirisits.

Help in different stages of grief

First, many people wonder when exactly a grief counselor should be involved. There is no one-size-fits-all answer, as every person is different. The fact is that grief counselors can be active in various phases of the grieving process—depending on the needs and situation of the individual. Here are some examples:

Immediately after the loss: Right after a loss, many people find themselves in a complex emotional turmoil. If the grieving person struggles with daily life, a grief counselor can provide immediate emotional support and develop coping strategies. They can also assist with legal matters or funeral arrangements.
In the first weeks and months: The initial period is particularly intense for many grieving individuals—a grief counselor can help navigate this time. They support emotional processing and the overall grief journey.
Long-term support: Some grieving processes take time—therefore, a grief counselor can be beneficial even months or years after the loss. Together, they develop long-term coping strategies to help the grieving person adjust to their new reality, as well as useful routines that enhance their quality of life.
For specific challenges: Sometimes, grief does not unfold as expected, leading to depression, anxiety, or other deep psychological struggles. A grief counselor can be a first point of contact and provide support, including improving communication and resolving conflicts with loved ones. However, in these cases, additional specialists such as therapists are often needed.
Before the loss: In some cases, it can also be helpful to seek support before an impending loss. This applies, for example, to individuals suffering from chronic illnesses that span years or decades of their lives or when a significant loss is approaching and mental preparation is necessary.

Much more than “just” support

And what makes good grief counseling? Theres Kirisits says: “Grief is a complex emotion that each person experiences differently.” As a grief counselor, she has learned that good grief support is much more than just offering help.

It is about giving a grieving person the space to experience and express their grief in their own unique way. Every grief journey is individual—there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong.’

Diverse Methods

“Compassionate listening is the first step—it creates a safe space where all emotions are welcome. Without judgment or pressure,” explains the grief counselor.

Expert knowledge serves as a foundation, but flexibility is equally important in order to adapt to the needs of the grieving person.

Good grief counseling offers a variety of methods, such as conversations, creative expression, or meditation, to explore grief and uncover personal resources. The goal is to gradually lighten the burden of grief, which often feels like a heavy shadow over life.

Authenticity is crucial

“Authenticity is also crucial: It’s about meeting at eye level and creating a genuine human connection,” Theres Kirisits knows from her own experience.

The goal is to accept grief as a natural part of life and find a path that strengthens and supports the grieving person. “In summary: Good grief counseling creates a safe space where the grieving person can express their emotions and receive support. This allows grief to be experienced as part of the healing process.”

About Theres Kirisits

Theres Kirisits is a grief counselor based in Berlin and also offers online support. She has also created a podcast for clarity, depth, and inspiration.

Learn more about her grief counseling service “T(RAU)RAUM”: https://www.trauraumtheres.com/

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