Letting go of grief or holding on to the deceased?
The advantages and disadvantages of a gemstone made from ashes and what this has to do with individual mourning
"To be or not to be," Hamlet asks. This question highlights the character's inner conflict—torn between a longing for death and the fear of it. As humans, we are inherently shaped by contrasts—within us lie opposing forces, personality traits, and opinions, often accompanied by doubt and indecision.
Especially when it comes to fundamental life questions and major decisions, we weigh our options, calculate, compare, and often find ourselves caught—between reason and heart.
At Mevisto, we find it completely understandable and entirely legitimate for those considering our gemstones to ask themselves: Is a gemstone made from the ashes of a deceased loved one or pet truly the right choice for me? Can it support me in my grief by offering a tangible keepsake? Or does it make coping with loss more difficult because it constantly reminds me of it?
We explore this topic by examining the pros and cons of a gemstone made from ashes—balancing between letting go of grief and holding on to cherished memories.
When grief overshadows life
When a beloved person or pet suddenly disappears from our lives, our world darkens in an instant. Suddenly, the days feel heavy and unbearable.
During such times of grief, we often struggle to find words and cannot fully express what we feel. Even the simplest daily tasks become overwhelming, and what once seemed effortless now feels impossible.
While some throw themselves into work and fill their schedules with appointments, others long for a break. But that break rarely comes. Life does not slow down for those who grieve—it moves forward relentlessly.
And yet, grief must be felt and processed, for if it is suppressed, it often returns later with full force.
Grief is something deeply individual
But how do we cope with grief? The answer is: in very different ways. Grief is deeply personal. Some people find comfort in rituals—visiting a loved one's grave once a week, lighting candles at home on Sundays, or revisiting their favorite places.
Others go through old photo albums, inhale the scent of a loved one’s favorite perfume, or read old letters. They need tangible keepsakes to heal and feel close to the departed.
Some, however, prefer to remove reminders of the past as quickly as possible. They cleanse their home, adopt a new morning routine, and fully embrace change.
Our grieving process often shifts between letting go and holding on—letting go of those we’ve lost, along with painful memories, while holding on to the things that keep them close. Some lean more toward one side, others to the opposite—and that’s perfectly okay.
Dealing with grief: from letting go to accepting it
"People who grieve often face the challenge of preserving memories of their loved ones while simultaneously coping with the conflicting feelings of loss and the need to move forward. For some, memories provide comfort by maintaining a connection to the departed. For others, they make the grieving process more difficult. It’s important to explore and understand these feelings on an individual level," says Mevisto owner Daniela Reiter, adding:
"But I don’t believe it’s about letting go. Can we ever truly let go of the past? The past will always be a part of us. It’s more about acceptance, integration, and moving forward with it. And everyone has the right to grieve in their own way."
Claudia Kolb, who lost a beloved cat, shares her experience in this video (only in German):
Advantages and disadvantages of a gemstone made from ash
- A gemstone made from ashes is unique—it contains the essence of the departed and is therefore irreplaceable.
- A specific place of mourning is not always accessible, and graves are often dissolved after a certain number of years—a memorial diamond or gemstone, however, can always be kept close and lasts forever.
- A sparkling stone does not evoke a specific visual memory like a photograph but rather a range of emotions and associations.
- As a physical piece of jewelry that is always present, a gemstone may also trigger painful memories, potentially making the grieving process more difficult.
- Some people prefer not to divide the remains of the deceased, as it may go against their ethical beliefs.
- A gemstone burial requires some preparation and necessitates cremation—however, gemstones can also be made from hair.
Vivid, multifaceted memories
An intriguing story related to this comes from Daniela Reiter’s father: "My father lost both of his parents at a very young age, before even reaching adulthood, due to a tragic turn of events—murder and suicide. However, the local priest at the time refused to allow a burial in the cemetery, claiming that a mortal sin had no place there. This event left deep scars that carried over into the next generation. A traditional burial is no longer an option for any of us in the family."
Her father also struggles with memory photos, as they transport him back to just one specific moment—the moment the picture was taken. To him, they lack the essence of life. "And this very issue was the starting point for Mevisto. Our precious keepsakes do not present a fixed image but instead ignite a multitude of memories."
Hope and optimism as a conscious decision
Our conclusion: Grief is not only personal, but it also requires space and time. Those who allow it and learn to accept it in some way will find that life gradually reorganizes and rebuilds itself around them.
The exact timing of this process is not set in stone. For some, it happens sooner; for others, it takes longer. What’s most important is not to be influenced by others but to listen to yourself.
Daniela Reiter summarizes: "According to the experiences shared by our customers, they all eventually reached a point where they consciously decided not to let pain take up as much space in their lives and instead began to gradually shift their thoughts out of the depths of grief."
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