Grieving for a deceased pet: Claudia Kolb's story about “Mucki” ...
... and what's behind her “Pfotentrauer” ("grief for paws") initiative
"It was just an animal," "You'll get over it," or "Why don’t you just get a new one?"—these are the kinds of phrases often thrown at people mourning the loss of a pet. Claudia Kolb heard them, too, after the passing of her cat, "Mucki." What do all these statements have in common? They provide no comfort. None at all. Instead, they leave those grieving feeling angry, sad, misunderstood, lonely, or disappointed. Sometimes all at once. And that is not helpful.
The fact remains: Grief is still one of the biggest taboos in our society, and deep mourning for a deceased pet is often met with ridicule. But Claudia Kolb wants to change that. That’s why she founded the grief support platform "Pfotentrauer." Learn more about her inspiring story and the mission behind it in this article.
It all began with Mucki ...
"He was my soul cat," says Claudia Kolb about her longtime companion, "Mucki." Their paths crossed when the cat was just four months old and in a worrisome state—a tiny bundle of misery. Or rather, a tiny bundle of kitten.
Claudia Kolb nursed the young cat back to health, and for the next 16 years, Mucki was by her side. "We went through so much together—he with me, and I with him," she laughs. Mucki was not only prone to various ailments but also made sure to experience everything life had to offer. The two became frequent visitors at the vet—sometimes up to 30 times a year.
Despite all this, he always bounced back. "This cat must have earned extra lives somehow—because he definitely had more than the usual nine," Claudia Kolb smiles. Mucki was wary of other people and deeply attached to her. As a result, she shaped her life around his needs. They needed each other. "And that sense of being needed is what bonded us so strongly," she recalls.
When the Last of His Nine Lives Was Gone
Eventually, though, even Mucki’s extra lives ran out. He developed a squamous cell carcinoma—cancer on his nose. While the condition has good chances of recovery, and cats can live without a nose, the disease had already spread to other parts of his body by the time Claudia Kolb opted for amputation.
In January 2023, with a heavy heart, she made the painful decision to have him put to sleep. And then came the grief—a deep, overwhelming grief.
Friend, reference system and structure provider
"Stop overreacting, it was just an animal"—this was something she often heard in her grief. But that’s not true.
"A pet is not just an animal—it’s so much more. It’s a companion, a friend, and for some, even a substitute for a partner or child. Animals always remain dependent on you to some degree, no matter how old they get.
And when a pet has been by your side for so long, it becomes impossible to imagine life without them. Pets also structure your day—a dog, for example, creates a daily routine. When they pass away, you don’t just lose a companion, but also the structure and rhythm of your life. This was also the case with Mucki. His medications set a specific schedule, and since he was not very trusting of others, I even gave up vacations. He was so dependent on me that he shaped my entire daily life," she explains.
A Keepsake for Eternity
After Mucki's death, Claudia Kolb’s daily routine changed overnight. Grief took over, and eventually, it led her to Mevisto.
She recalls: "I had the idea of creating a keepsake from Mucki years before his passing, when he had yet another accident. That was when I first came across Mevisto in a newspaper."
From then on, she collected his fur, and a few months after his death, she had a necklace with a gemstone made. "The stone is beautiful, clear, and pure—just like Mucki’s soul. Now, I carry him not only in my heart but also close to my heart."
And the necklace pairs perfectly with her second-favorite piece of jewelry: a ring from her grandmother. For her, the Mevisto necklace is an anchor in everyday life—a reminder that Mucki is still with her, no matter what.
Unaccepted grieving process
Despite having created this anchor for herself, she often encountered a lack of understanding from those around her. "Even people who knew how close we were reacted with a shrug after just a few days, surprised that I was still in pain. ‘What? You’re still grieving?’ I heard that question so often. And my answer was always: Yes, and I always will."
After all, grief isn’t just about crying, missing, or hurting—grief is so much more. First and foremost, it is love. "I will always love, so to some extent, I will always grieve," she concludes.
Thankfully, grief transforms as we process it. But many people who lose a dog or cat struggle to work through their grief. Because grief is still a taboo topic in our society. And because mourning the loss of a pet is still often met with ridicule.
Her experience in video form (only in German):
Helping others with “paw grief”
"Death is a part of life. We are born, and with each day we live, we move one step closer to death. That means death accompanies us throughout our entire lives. Unfortunately, many people fear it. But I would argue—perhaps provocatively—that it is not death they fear, but an unlived life," says Claudia Kolb.
At some point, she decided to make peace with death, seeing it as a reminder that she has only this one life to live fully. This mindset not only helped her process Mucki’s passing but also inspired her to help others.
In 2022, she completed training as a "Deep Journaling Expert"—a form of therapeutic writing enriched with psychological and creative aspects. After filling several notebooks with her thoughts, this eventually led to the creation of her online grief support program, "Pfotentrauer." Through this platform, she aims to help others navigate the grief of losing a beloved pet.
The program begins with a simple guide featuring self-care tips and writing prompts. It also includes support groups on social media and personalized email guidance from Claudia Kolb herself.
“Completely normal, legitimate and not reprehensible”
"Approaching grief with a positive mindset is one of the most important things. However, many people believe that if they let go of the pain, they are also letting go of their soul animal. But I don’t need pain to maintain the connection—quite the opposite. If pain becomes all-consuming, it eventually takes over the entire heart and closes it off to love," says Claudia Kolb.
Still, pain needs attention first in order to be processed. It cannot simply be wished away. And this is precisely what makes grieving a lost pet so difficult—because it is often not acknowledged. In our society, the grief of losing a partner is just about accepted, but other forms of grief are not.
As a result, the pain of mourning a cat or dog grows even larger. Many people, faced with the lack of understanding from friends and family, begin to question themselves. Is my grief excessive? Is this even appropriate?
But it is absolutely essential to stand by your feelings—no matter what others may think. "Grieving for a pet is legitimate, completely normal, not strange or irrational, and certainly nothing to be ashamed of. It’s important to remind yourself of this again and again. Only then can you take the step forward," says the expert. "I leave behind grief in the form of pain, but I carry with me grief in the form of love."—that is her guiding principle.
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